This entry i made especially for you.
Abah, our relay may not be same as other people relay regarding to our serious conversations, less bonding times and our gap.
Abah, our relay may not be the same as the relay i always dreams to have a funny friendly and sporting dad.
But i really wanted you to always know that i always put you as my roll idol because for me, you are the best dad ever.
Abah,
The way you teach us as your children are different from others. You didn't offer give us the luxury life but you always try to give your best of what we needs. You teach us a hard ways to achieve things and at the same times you insert the easier ways to us without our knowledge.
Before, when i was a child, there were so many questions in my head. "Why can't you buy me the branded clothes and gadgets when i know you can afford to buy them for me, Why can't you let me hang around without any limit of times, Why don't you let me be what i wanted to be, Why can't you bring us to abroad for holidays when you have the high income paid, Why are you not like the other fathers, Why don't you have time for me,". There were so many "WHY" words in my mind before. And on that time, i started to do the rebellion because i have misunderstood of you.
As the time passed by, during this hard moment for me when no one believe me, i gained my strength to ask you one simple question "Abah, abah rasa akak boleh buat kerja tak? Semua orang kata akak tak boleh buat kerja", and Allah showed me your love. You replied me text "I know you can do it. Do your best and prove them wronged. Stand up and be strong. You can always consult on me or your mom." My tears really rolled down on that time, like i couldn't believe that moment appeared. After that time, i've changed my thought on you. I tried to be close and less scared to you.
One by one the questions before were in my head went missing. Until last year, due to my problems in choosing the study path, you made the decision by sending me to the private college and because of that you spend a lot of many for my study. Started from that, i always feel that i have burden you even until now i have that feeling. When i asked you to transfer the money to me, i never forget to put "Abah, maaf susahkan abah." One day, the same things i send and still i inserted the line and you replied "Kakak, please after this no more sorry words. Your mom and i will always try our best to give you and your siblings the better future". Again, i cried like hell. My mouth was speechless, my mind was empty for a moment and my body was stiff.
Apart from that, i got the answer for all the "wondering questions" before one by one. I started to understand why are you behaving or threat us that ways. There are all because of your own specific reasons that i may understand now. When i come to think about all of that, i feel so lucky to be your daughter and im grateful for every single things that you have made for me. You are different. You do not speak for your love but the actions showed us your love either we will see it sooner or later.
Abah, thank you for your warm and calm love just like your advises that you have gave to me. I will always try my best to achieve something that will make you proud. Abah, thank you for your trust and believe in me.
Abah, i love you!
